Blackbird
by T. F. Crosby
Summary: Even with a broken wing a bird will still try to fly, but there are those with perfect wings who willingly choose not to. Sometimes the one with the broken wing must teach the other to soar.


This is a sequel to "Revenge is Bittersweet" by I'vebecomesonumb, which itself is a sequel to "What There Was To See" by darkmistress in the shadows. So, it's a sequel of a sequel. It kinda rounds everything out--I think. Anyway, I recommend reading those two stories first, if you haven't already, otherwise this story won't make a whole lot of sense.

**For:** I'vebecomesonumb and darkmistress in the shadows

**Songs:** "Blackbird" by Third Day & "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" by Reliant K (I'm a music freak. Can ya tell?)

**-xxx-**

**Blackbird**

_But you're ever hearing, never understanding, ever seeing, not perceiving and your heart has grown callous. You're in a storm and lost your way, won't you fly to heaven and be saved today._

—_from "Blackbird" by Third Day_

A blond man in his late thirties sat alone at a table at the far end of the bar. He stared at his half-empty beer bottle. _His_ death was supposed to have brought him closure and as a whole it had. But it did nothing to fill the hole that was left in his heart when _he_ murdered her. _Revenge is bittersweet. _In the past few years, however, it seemed more _bitter _thanbittersweet. He had forgone simply getting drunk to wash away the pain years ago. He had thought killing Aerrow would ease his pain of losing her. It was the one point in time when he believed in an eye for an eye. But he soon learned that the problem with an eye for an eye is that you wind up hurting yourself more in the end.

"Mind if I join you?" asked a voice familiar to him, but one he hadn't heard in years.

"Not at all," the blond replied.

A raven-haired man in his early fifties sat down across from him. He set his water bottle down on the table and looked the blond over. He hadn't changed much since the once notorious Dark Ace had seen him seven years ago. Finn looked no worse for wear, but the older man knew better.

"I hear you've recently become a grandfather," Finn said, staring back at his beer.

"Yeah, grandson."

"What's his name?"

"Noah," the former Dark Ace replied, taking a sip of his water.

"Does he look like you?" Finn asked.

The man grinned. "Yeah…he does."

There was silence as the blond finished off his beer. He set it down and stared blankly at the now empty bottle.

"I can't believe this," Finn huffed.

"What?"

"You."

"What about me?" the once Talon commander queried, raising an eyebrow.

"You're fifty-two and you look younger than me…. You have no gray hair."

The man chuckled at him, taking another sip of water.

Finn looked him over. The man didn't look a day over thirty-five, if that, even with the mustache and goatee. Of course, not having any gray hair (it was obvious he didn't color it) helped. The blond sighed. It was hard to believe it had been twenty years since the man sitting across from him had laid down his sword and left his title and Cyclonia behind for good. Nobody called him Dark Ace anymore, nobody dared to really. Not that he would do anything to them if they did. He would simply ignore them and walk away. He didn't like to fight and he did his best to avoid confrontation, a far cry from what he once was. Even when push came to shove, he would settle his disputes with words and he rarely had to say much. He never made threats, never used coarse language. Yet, somehow, he was able to settle his quarrels. Some may have thought him a sissy for turning his back on fighting, but the man was far more intimidating without the threat of violence than he was with it. Finn had once thought it impossible for a man like him to make such a dramatic turnaround, but in a timeframe of mere seconds he learned that the _impossible_ should never be underestimated.

"Alex," Finn laughed to himself. "It's so frackin' weird I don't think I'll ever get used to callin' you that."

He leaned back in his chair and grinned at the blond. Yes, it _was_ weird, even for him. He had gone by Dark Ace for twelve years of his life and Ace for even longer. If it wasn't for his wife and a few old friends he would've forgotten his own name entirely.

"Though Alexander does suit you," the blond added, peeling the label off his beer bottle.

"That's what Ravess says," Alex replied.

"Just out of curiosity," Finn continued, "you haven't happened to have run into Junko or Stork recently, have you?"

"Actually, I have," Alex answered flatly.

"Really. How they doin'? Last time I talked to either of them, Junko was married with a kid and Stork was in a pretty deep depression." Finn pulled the last of the label off the bottle and looked up at the former Talon.

"Junko has three kids now. Two boys and a girl. His oldest just turned sixteen."

Finn huffed lightly. "Time really does fly."

"And as for Stork," Alex continued, "he's gotten better. Not depressed anymore. Still a little paranoid, but one woman was finally able to tie him down." He took a sip of his water. "Even has a couple kids. Oldest one's just like his dad."

The blond shook his head. "I can't believe this. The only way I can keep up-to-date on my friends is to hear it from someone else. And to think one of them would be the once notorious Dark Ace." He let out a morose sigh. "Although they really aren't my friends anymore." He rubbed his left temple. "Things would be different if Piper were alive. But that bastard had to go and…. And to think I called him my friend. I even loved him like a brother."

The older man could feel the rage building up within Finn. "You're right," Alex said calmly. "Things would be different if Piper were alive." Finn looked up at him. "Things would also be different if I were still the Dark Ace. Things would also be different if Cyclonia had claimed victory." He paused for a moment. "And things would definitely be different if Aerrow were still alive."

Finn glared at him. "Don't you dare say—"

"That name…. What's wrong, Finn? All these years and you still won't utter his name." Alex met Finn's angry glare with a soft countenance. "You don't want to hear his name, yet you carry him with you wherever you go. You've carried those twin daggers with you since that day."

Finn had no retort. He moved his chair back to stand up. The former Talon watched him, not saying a word, as he walked away. He waited for the blond to walk out of the tavern before following. He knew the sharpshooter wouldn't leave right away, so there was no need for him to bolt out of the building after him.

After a few minutes, Alex stood up and headed out the back exit. He knew Finn had parked in the back of the building, as he had parked out there himself. He stepped outside onto the dirt and leaned against the wall facing Finn's sky-ride.

As Finn rounded the corner he said, "It's been eighteen years, Finn."

"Yeah, eighteen years in which Piper could've gotten married and had a family," Finn replied snidely, without looking at Alex.

"And eighteen years in which you could've gotten married and had a family," the man calmly returned. "But you chose to live in your sea of self-pity."

"He took it all away from her," the blond seethed. "And from me."

"You took it away from yourself," Alex said forcefully, but still remaining placid. Finn didn't reply; he simply looked away. "Look at yourself," Alex continued. "You're miserable."

"Okay, Mister Psychiatrist, I admit it. So, why don't you tell me why I'm miserable. And then after that, you can tell me when my misery started." Finn hoped his sarcasm would get the man off his back, but he knew better than that. Sarcasm wasn't going to deter the man once feared by the whole of Atmos. He had inadvertently laid down a challenge and his opponent was a man who knew misery inside and out.

"Fine. I'd be more than happy to," Alex replied with a smirk. "You're miserable because you choose to be."

"Right, right. Pain is inevitable, misery is optional. I've heard it before," the blond interjected.

"And," the raven-haired man continued, undeterred by Finn's remark, "Your misery began the day you decided Aerrow didn't deserve to live."

"What?" a confused Finn said. He was positive Alex was going to say his misery began when Aerrow killed Piper.

Noting his confusion, Alex continued. "I know what you're thinking. And no, your misery didn't begin with Piper's death. Your misery has nothing to do with Piper and everything to do with Aerrow and yourself."

Finn shook his head in disbelief. "This is ludicrous."

"When you killed Aerrow, you put him out of his misery of having to live with the fact that he killed Piper. And now you're the only one that has to live with both. He murdered Piper, you murdered him." Now standing at Finn's ride, they stood in silence for a moment before Alex continued. "You're right, Finn. Pain is inevitable, _misery is optional_. And, man, do you love picking up your options."

Finn grimaced at the last comment. "If you were trying to be funny—"

"There's nothing funny about any of this, Finn," Alex said sharply. "I'm sick of watching you wallow in your self-pity. Aerrow's murdering Piper may have left a hole in your heart; but your murdering him, no matter what you thought it would do for you, only made that hole bigger."

He stared at Finn with piercing, but gentle eyes and said softly, "The truth, Finn. How often do you think about Piper? About the day she was murdered?"

"Everyday," Finn said softly.

"How often do you think about Aerrow? About the day you murdered him? And I don't mean out of contempt for him."

Finn didn't reply. He gave Alex an empty glare.

"You expect me to believe you never think about him." There was still no reply. "So you're telling me you don't care about Aerrow at all." Alex shook his head. "Aerrow didn't break your squadron, Finn. You did. At the one moment they needed you most, you turned away from them."

Finn laughed condescendingly, looking back at the once Dark Ace. "Man, this is real rich coming from the guy who betrayed and destroyed his entire squadron."

Alex slammed his hands onto the seat of Finn's ride, startling the blond. "Don't you dare think for a damn _second _that I don't relive that moment of my life everyday. Not one day has gone by for thirty-four years that I haven't thought about them and what I did." Finn looked away. "It took me over ten years to own up to what I did, When are you gonna own up to what you did?"

The blond turned his back to Alex, leaning against his ride. "He never had any remorse for killing her," he said quietly, his voice shaky.

"How do you know that, Finn?" Alex queried softly.

"Because he never showed it," Finn replied, his back still turned.

"Really, Finn? Is that the truth?"

"I never saw it," the blond growled through his teeth. "I never saw one ounce of remorse from him."

"Maybe you didn't want to see any remorse from him," Alex said, almost coldly. "Maybe all you saw was what you wanted to see."

Finn turned around, infuriated. "I watched him murder her!"

"Yes, Finn," Alex snapped. "You _watched_ him murder her. And you didn't take a single step forward to stop him or help her."

Finn stood in shock at the former Talon's remark. The man's words cut through him like a steel blade. "I—I wanted to," Finn said softly, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Wanting to is not enough," Alex said harshly.

"I couldn't move," Finn replied weakly, tears beginning to fall.

Alex narrowed his eyes. "From what I understand, you didn't seem to have much problem moving to kill Aerrow."

Finn sneered at the man's biting remark. "He murdered her," the blond growled. "She didn't deserve it! He never showed any remorse for doing it!"

"And that makes it all right to murder him?" Alex said calmly.

"He didn't deserve to live," Finn said flatly, turning away once again. "Men like him shouldn't be allowed to live." Tears were now streaming down his cheeks.

"The ends don't always justify the means."

The blond whipped around yelling, "Stop making him look like the victim!"

"He was a victim, Finn," Alex said forcefully, now in Finn's face. "He was a victim of his own selfish desires. Unfortunately, there was no one around to help him."

Finn ran his hand through his hair as his tears fell harder. "Why'd he do it?" He fell to his hands and knees, sobbing. "I know he said why. But I still don't understand."

Alex walked around the ride and knelt down beside the sobbing blond man, taking him into his arms. "You're not accountable for his actions."

"It's all my fault," Finn sobbed, grabbing hold of Alex's arm. "I should've said something. I shouldn't've just let it go."

"It's not your fault," the raven-haired man said, with a tenderness in his voice Finn never would have fathomed coming from the Dark Ace. But then, the man holding him was no longer the Dark Ace.

"I should've told her how I really felt. I should've told both of them. None of this would've happened if I had—"

"You don't know that."

"I'm too tired to go on, Alex."

"I know you are." The older man sighed. He never once thought that their lives would take the turns they had; his for the better, Finn's for the worst.

"I don't know what to do anymore," Finn choked out, grabbing tighter to Alex's arm. "I can't get out of the darkness."

Alex's mind was suddenly flooded with images of his past. He looked straight ahead as the darkest of his memories cut through his mind like shards of glass. "I lived in darkness from the time I spilled my best friend's blood until the day I held my firstborn in my arms. And even then that darkness followed me because I knew one day, my son would learn about his father's past."

Finn slowly sat up, wiping the tears from his eyes. "So, when did you finally get away from it?" he queried, choking back tears.

Alex took a deep breath. "When I realized the people around me didn't care about my past. Who I had become after I laid down my sword and left Cyclonia behind for good was more important to them than who I had been. The Dark Ace didn't exist to them. I was offered a second chance and I took it." He glanced at Finn, who was trying to compose himself. "Sure there are a lot of people who won't let go of the fact that I was once the Dark Ace. They won't accept the fact that I've changed my life."

"I never could figure out why people are like that," Finn said, now free of tears. "But I am guilty of that myself. Even worse, I never gave Aerrow a second chance."

Alex stared straight ahead. "Well, some people's minds are like cement. All mixed up and permanently set."

The blond glared at him. "Was that some kind of commentary?"

The man smirked. "Hey, I'm just as guilty."

Finn sighed. "I crossed the line, Alex."

"We both did," Alex replied with a sigh of his own. "And those are the very moments we wish we could take back."

"I should've helped him. Even if he didn't want it, even if he resented and hated me, I still should've helped him."

"There are things in all of our pasts that we wish we could go back and do differently." The two men stared out into the dark of the eventide. "Unfortunately, that's not possible. We have to move forward and hopefully live the rest of our lives for the better."

Finn nodded in accord. He sighed as he looked up at the starry sky. "For all the years I told myself I hated him, only now I realize I never really did hate him. I hate what he did. Now that you got me thinking clearly, I know it's myself I hated more than anyone." Finn shook his head. "I can't believe I've lived like this for so long."

"Even with a broken wing a bird will still try to fly. But there are those with perfect wings who willingly choose not to. Sometimes the one with the broken wing must teach the other to soar."

Finn gave Alex a cock-eyed grin. "Where'd you hear that?"

"From an old friend," the raven-haired man replied.

Finn smiled. "Must've been talkin' about us."

Alex stood up. "Well, I'd better get home before Ravess decides to send our Sky Knight squadron after me." Finn laughed as he stood up. Alex smirked as he looked at Finn. "I heard you actually got yourself a girlfriend."

Finn raised an eyebrow. "What?" Alex grinned. "Aw, man. How do you do it? How do you know all this stuff?"

"My wife told me." He grinned again. "And she was told by, well…" Alex walked over to his ride and mounted it. He looked at Finn. "Get home to her. Tell her how you feel. Trust me, it'll do you good."

"Yeah," Finn replied. "You get home to that grandson."

Alex smiled. "You know the best thing about grandkids? When they misbehave, you can send 'em home."

Finn laughed. "See ya around."

His former enemy looked at him with those soft crimson eyes he had come to know. "Look, Finn. This isn't gonna all go away overnight. It'll take time. But you've taken a step in the right direction."

"Thanks to you."

"You really should go visit them."

"I know."

"If you ever need anything…."

"I'll make sure to come bug you."

The two men smiled at each other as Alex started the engine of his ride.

"Hey, Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"How did you find Aerrow's body?" Finn asked.

Alex looked up at the sky. "Strangest thing, really. I wasn't even planning on leaving the house that day. As crazy as this sounds, I heard a voice, crystal clear, tell me to go to Aerrow. I had no idea where he was, yet, somehow, I ended up in that canyon. If it hadn't been for all that blood, I would've sworn he was just sleeping."

"Whatever happened to Radarr?"

"I took him with me," Alex replied. "I was amazed he came so willingly. He lived for another ten years. Spent a lot of time on my shoulder." Finn gave him a look of sympathy. He could the man really missed that furry, blue creature. "I remember one night, just before Radarr died," he continued, "my oldest boy, he was fourteen at the time, came into my study with Radarr sitting on his shoulder. I swear, for just a split-second, it was Aerrow standing there." He sighed.

The blond looked up at the sky. "You know, if you had told me twenty years ago that everything that's happened in the past eighteen years would come to pass, I'd have thought you had mind worms. Not to mention the fact that we'd be friends."

"Or that you'd be dating…."

"Yeah…. Of course, you have a lot more on your plate."

Alex smiled at him. "See ya around, Finn."

"Yeah, see ya around."

Finn watched him leave and then headed back into the tavern. He walked up to the bar, taking one last look around.

"'Nother beer?" the barkeeper asked.

"No…" Finn replied. "I'll just have a bottle of water."

"Headin' home then."

"You could say that. I gotta pay a couple of friends a visit."

-xxx-

He walked into the house and into the living room to see her sitting on the couch, waiting for him.

"What took you so long?" she asked, her face more radiant than ever.

"Ran into an old friend of ours," he said.

"Really? What'd he have to say?"

"He had a few things to say to me," Finn said, sitting down on the couch. "He kinda convinced me to go visit some friends."

She smiled at him. "And?"

"And…he subtly suggested I do something else."

"And what would that be?" she asked.

He leaned over and kissed her on the lips as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small, red-velvet box.

_**fin**_

**_-xxx-_**

And there it is. I hope you enjoyed it. And I especially hope that darkmistress in the shadows and I'vebecomesonumb enjoyed it. (starts biting fingernails)


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